Pierre Archives - Page 73 of 131

What’s in the Mystery Box?

Newton: Hey, Pierre, wake up, there’s a new mystery box here!

Pierre: What is it? It smells… funny. A little like a dog?

Newton: Who would ship us a dog? Everyone knows that there are no dogs here. Or dog food.

Newton: Oh, check it out. Someone sent us packing peanuts! I love these things!

Pierre: I love how light they are. This one flew all the way over here on its own. No one saw me whack it across the floor, did they?

Newton: Hey, bring that back. These are all mine!

Pierre: I don’t think so. It’s not *your* slobber on this packing peanut, Newton!

Important!
Please always supervise your kitties when there are packing peanuts loose in the house, and always make sure that you gather all of them after unpacking a box. As you can see, some cats find them irresistible. While some packing peanuts are made of biodegradable materials, others are made of Styrofoam and can lead to intestinal blockage if eaten.

Friday Fisticuffs

Newton: Did you just call me what I think you called me?

Pierre: Yeah, I called you a cheeto-butt. So? Your tail looks like a big cheeto. It’s on your butt.

Newton: Don’t call me a cheeto-butt. I’m proud of my floofy tail!

Newton: And get out of my face!

Pierre: I’ll show you what happens to your face when you mess with me!

Newton: *POUNCE*

Pierre: *KARATE KICK*

Newton: *CHOMP*

Pierre: Whoa, OK, all done now, how about you?

Newton: Yeah, bro, I’m done. But no more of the cheeto-butt thing, okay?

Chicken Supply Worries

Ashton: Hurry up with the tablet, Pierre. I need to order some swag for my chicken emporium.

Pierre: You need to wait. I’m looking something up, and it may be important. I didn’t get any of the omlettes from the human plates this morning. Something about eggs getting a lot more expensive.

Ashton: More like because you’re a mooch.

Pierre: Whatever, Miss Begs-a-Lot! But look at this. I just learned that eggs come from chickens!

Ashton: I’m not sure I believe that. But I’ll play along. What’s the big deal?

Pierre: Well, why are the eggs getting a lot more expensive? There has to be a reason. What if there’s a chicken shortage?

Ashton: Surely there can’t be–

Pierre: What if they’re running out of chickens… forever?

Ashton: I think I need to go sit down. I’m not feeling very well.

If you missed them, catch up on all of Ashton’s chicken capers.

Weekend Chores Followup

Pierre: Friday, I mentioned that I was eager to help with the weekend chores. Well, one chore, at least. Making the bed is my favorite part of the whole week. Nothing feels as good for a nice roll like a warm, clean fitted sheet!

You weren’t thinking of touching my tummy, were you? My tummy is off-limits, even during the ecstasy of rolling on a fresh sheet.