Newton Archives - Page 88 of 138

Blackmail Material

Newton: Would you look at what I found on Ashton’s iPad? It’s artwork of her and Mr. Jinx!

Newton: ♫ ♫ Ashton and Mr. Jinx sitting in a tree…. ♫ ♫

Ashton: Did you just call me? What’s going on? Did you finally find where the red dot is hiding? Wait for me. I want to see, too!

Newton: Eek! I… umm… No. I was just excited because I was checking out what Savannah and Sage are doing over at Savannah’s Paw Tracks. They’re up to something, but Savannah won’t tell me what it is.

Ashton: I thought that wasn’t supposed to start until October 1. You’re a little early.

Newton: It doesn’t start until then, but that’s soon. And this is so exciting, I’m going to sit here and paw the refresh button until it starts!

Ashton: You are so strange, Newton.

Newton: And you’re a goofy girlcat, Ashton. *whispers* ♫ ♫ Sitting in a tree…. ♫ ♫

Boys will be Boys

Newton: Did you just call me a name, Pierre?

Pierre: So what if I did? What are you going to do about it?

Newton: Oh, I’ll show you what happens to name-callers.

Pierre: I’m not afraid of you, orange boy. Bring it on!

Newton: This is your last warning.

Pierre: You keep warning me, but you aren’t doing anything. You’re all hiss and no action.

Newton: Oh, yeah? Talk to the paw!

Pierre: What’s the paw saying now, big guy?

Newton: Ow! Hey, watch the mancat ‘do. I worked for hours to get my fur just so.

Pierre: ARGH!

Newton: Yikes!

*POW!* *OOOOFF!* *WHAP!*

Pierre: OK, OK! Sorry for calling you a Cheeto Butt. I’m out of here.

Newton: Hey, wait! Come back! That was just getting really fun!

Wordless Wednesday: Boop Edition

Species-Inappropriate Food

Ashton: Cats are obligate carnivores. That means we need to eat meat. This gives the humans this idea that we don’t need to eat potato chips, oatmeal, butternut squash soup or broccoli, and they call them species-inappropriate food. But they taste so good! What, you don’t eat broccoli? I eat it with a lot more enthusiasm than the average six-year-old at a dinner table.

Ashton: Like anything else, if I gets something, Newton thinks he is missing out. See that jealous look peering up at me from the shadows? Like he thinks I don’t know he’s down there! But this broccoli is all mine.