I know that sometimes cat adoptions don’t turn out to be a good fit. That’s why there are clauses in the adoption contracts from good rescue groups requiring that the cat be returned to the rescue group rather than being rehomed. I just never expected it would apply to my household of cats.
Today, it is.
Beau, the beautiful black kitten who joined the family last month is going back to his foster home. After a really promising first couple days, it became a painful struggle to try to fit him in socially.He’s just too dominant for Pierre and Ashton. I realize now that I should have made the decision earlier, but I was trying to find a way to make it work, and Ashton has regressed further and further as a result. There are days when she won’t come out from under the bed to eat because she is so afraid of Beau.
It isn’t his fault, of course. Beau is a confident, happy young cat who wants me to himself. And he wants the bed to himself. And he wants the sofa to himself. And he wants the sunrooom to himself… And the living room, the bathroom, the kitchen… The other cats aren’t contesting his dominance, and it has snowballed to a situation that isn’t healthy for them.
Beau would be perfectly happy to stay here, but for the other cats’ sake, he needs to go where he can find a forever home that lets him be the top cat. Or where he’s with more assertive cats who won’t be intimidated by his dominant behavior.
I’m lucky it’s this kind of goodbye. I’m not losing him to illness or injury, and he’s going to a loving foster home where his brother, Dallas, still lives. But while the other cats are going to throw a ticker tape parade when they realize it’s safe to walk across the living room again, I know I’ll miss the purring, snuggling, happy boy who insisted on sleeping on my pillow. You can’t help but lose a piece of your heart to a cat like that, and he will take it with him when I have to say goodbye today.
Ack! We were very worried at first. But iffen we unnerstsand it right, Beau is going to a place that suits him better?
Oh Beau, we will miss your silly face and antics, but we understand totally. We deal with bullying and warfare on a daily basis here…and it’s not pretty. You are an incredibly lucky kitten that your peeps love you enough to let you find YOUR ideal situation, and bring peace to their own household. Bon Voyage!
We’re sorry it had to come to this, but you have made the right decision. Beau will be going back to a great foster Dad and his brofur Dallas. The time he spent with you was invaluable as the rescue will now have a better idea of the type of home he’ll do best in. 🙂
That is too bad but I understand perfectly. I have some of the same thing going on here with several cats. Some cats just have to be boss and want everything for themselves. So it sounds like Beau might need a home by himself. I know it was hard. but you absolutely did the right thing.
Oh I know how Beau is… like my Little Bear. If it weren’t for his cousin Joey who is much bigger and quietly showed Bear how to behave, I would have had a problem on my hands. During Lil Bear’s first introduction, Joey put his paw on Lil Bear’s head as if to say, “settle down, son!”
Lil Bear such a fun kitty, but he needed to learn some good social skills. I was very worried about Lil Bear’s ability to calm down and not takeover. Thankfully the other kits at “Uncle Mike’s” house have been really good at acknowledging Lil Bear’s “alpha-ness” while asserting their own space.
We know you will be sad when Beau has gone and he’ll leave a tiny hole in your heart but it is best for him and also for you and your cat family. Don’t beat yourself up about it he will soon find a furever home where it will be suitable for him to be topcat.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
We’re sorry that it didn’t work out with Beau. We know this wasn’t an easy decision to make. But sometimes the right decisions aren’t the easiest. Beau will be okay…and the purrfect home for him is out there…we know it.
Purrs to you….
If we commit to a cat we want it to work and put all our energy into creating the right environment. Sometimes we forget we are not the whole household and the decision does not lie in our hands, but in the shared decision-making of the wider household. You’ve made a courageous decision to let Beau find the right home. Right now your cats are unhappy but soon Beau would become unhappy as this is not a good situation. Hugs to you.
Ps. I did smile at your describing the cats as holding a parade in relief!
How sad, but we know you gave it your all. We’re sure he will find the right fit soon. Couldn’t ask for a better foster home either! Good luck little Beau. Hopefully Pierre et al will not have any lasting effects of his stay. (((hugs)))
You are doing the right thing for Beau and for your other cats and yourself. I know it does not feel good, not at all, but in the end Beau will go to a place that is better suited for him and maybe down the road another kitty will call your name and work out beautifully with the others in your house. (hugs)
Good luck to you handsome Beau. I just know things will work out for you just the way they are supposed to pal.
Good luck, little Beau! May you find just the right fit for your furever home! Keep being the happy cat you are and you will steal somebody’s heart and make it your home!
The rest of you, please relax. We are sorry you are feeling upset, but your mommy understands, and will be patient with you.
Hmmm. Extra treat time???
Oh gosh… I am sorry, as I know this must have been a difficult decision. I would love to open my home to many more cats, but I do realize that I have to respect the dynamic that currently exists. Sometimes the transition of a new cat is easy and sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Thankfully Beau has a safe and happy foster home to go back to so that you can feel better about your decision and go back to loving your happy kitties who can now relax and be themselves again!
we are sad that he is having to leave, but we tell adopters all the time that the ultimate decision has to be made by the cats already in the home. we are sorry it didn’t work out but we know that you tried everything. and heaven knows you went above and beyond what some families would have done
I can only imagine how hard of a decision this has been and I admire your courage and compassion to do the right thing. Sometimes our best intentions and plans have to change course and it’s not always an easy course. It sounds like Beau will thrive in his foster home with his brother. (((Purrs))) and hugs to you.
xo GG
So sorry things didn’t work out with Beau. But he will find HIS Furrrever Home sometime. Maybe as a solo kittie. Maybe in a home with some old battle scarred tom who can grab Beau by the ear and tell him ‘what to’.
((((hugs))))) to you. You are doing the best thing for him. At least he has a wonderful foster home to go to!
It is a shame that Beau couldn’t live in harmony with the others, but you have made the right decision. Hopefully he will soon find another home where he is the only kitty, and yours can all relax again.
Think of it that you fostered him for a month and now he’s going to a different foster. He’ll get by. TW almost gave me up cos I was so feral but since there were no other cats in the house, they got to work with me.
We are sad for you that this didn’t work out. But we know you did your very best in trying, and with the decision you ultimately had to make.
We completely understand – and are so very very glad you made the difficult choice (but the right one for you and Ashton and family). As much as we love Allie, the decision to keep her at the time was probably not the right decision for Ryker. His final year was miserable, and mommy will always feel guilty about it.
Oh purrs to you all for sure, we know that this was not an easy decision for you to make nor one you made lightly. We wish sweet Beau the very best and we are sure there is the right and perfect forever home waiting for him. Big purrs to Ashton, we hope that she will feel better again shortly. You made the right decision for the rest of your furry family and that is a very loving thing for you to have done.
Not an easy thing to do , but the right thing are seldom easy <3
You made a good decision, even though it was a hard one. We had a 1 1/2 year old, male stray cat come to our home a year ago. Oh, we wanted to keep him so badly! But we had a little tiny 14 year old female and our new boy just couldn’t understand and respect the boundaries she was trying to put up. He was young and wanted to play much too roughly with her. Her little face was starting to look sadder by the day and on day 11, even after very careful introducing them and supervising them… we had to let Cowboy go. Part of our hearts are still with him… and this is good because our prayers are still with him, too.
Now Beau will find the right home for who he really is since the foster parent knows what kind of a situation he needs. The insight gained from his stay with you is going to work out to help him in the long run a great deal. And your family will have the right environment for them, too, which they deserve.
I look forward to your next furry one coming who will fit right in!
Bless you for being brave and releasing him. I know it hurts but you did well.
Lily, WA, USA
Though it is definitely hard you made the right decision for all of the cats. I had to go through something like this twice in my cat co-dependent life. First it was an Ebony Oriental Shorthair I bought as a show cat. He wasn’t aggressive, rather he was just too, too much for the other cats and he needed way too much of my attention for a multi-cat household. It took me a long time to finally accept that he needed a different home. I found him a home with an older couple who could spoil him rotten.
Then it was Tempest, the first feral cat I caught and brought into my home. He was tame the minute I got him home but when my elder cat, Gabbie, became seriously ill Tempest began attacking her, viciously. Though I loved him very much he had to go. A veterinarian friend of mine adopted him and he lived a long life in her clinic garnering the loving attention from all of her clients. The last time I saw him he was in the last stages of kidney disease but I could tell he remembered me. I squeezed him tightly and told him good-bye. He was such a great cat.
As guardians of our cats we are responsible for their welfare. As such we must make these extremely difficult decisions and believe that it is the right thing to do. Good for you for recognizing it and doing what you had to do.
Doing the right thing can also be the hardest thing to do. I really applaud you for making the decision and also for keeping faith that everything will work out for little Beau. It will. Your strength and love will stay with him.
So sorry we have not been round to visit on your bloggy. We did chat via FB message so knew Beau was going back to foster home. Julie you were ever so brave to make this decision. I takes courage to stand up for the resident cats in the face of loving kitten who needs a home. But those resident cats did too and you promised them safety and have given it to them. I will let you know when I can about our own situation. Still a work in progress. Paw pats, Savannah and Mom Linda